In this life you're bound to meet a lot of people day to day. Sometimes more than you can handle. Sometimes not enough. It's great to meet people (read: girls) in whatever way you can.
Through friends. At a bar. House parties are always a favorite. Sometimes a park. In line at the corner store. After experiencing the same crazy thing together. At different events. Weddings for sure. Not so much funerals, however this is probably an under-explored venue for such introductions. Just think: everyone there is sad that the dearly departed has departed and you all wish that you could hold that person that you love...if...only...you could find that special someone. Ala kazam! Sure it's the 'cry on my shoulder' technique, but no reason why it can't be applied. For many cultures funerals are a celebration of life. Jews tend to display their smorgasboard of chocolates, cream cheeses and salmon delicacies; Irish tend to re-confirm their taste to act out their displays with a few Guinness pints. So why not find that special lass with whom to celebrate this life?
Another way to find the love of your life, or night, is online. There are lots of online 'bars' from which to choose, depending on the lifestyle, or promotional offer, that appeals to you. LavaLife, True, Match, Jdate.
There are a lot of things that could be said about dating in general and also more specifically about experiences had with online dating. Just today, for instance, while waiting for a girl by the Belmont El station who I had only seen from a few plausibly similar thumbnail-sized pictures, thoughts of uneasiness and anxiety filled my head. Ooh - this one has a nice rack, but she kept walking on. Please no, please no, please no - was another thought as I saw a very short lady with an abnormally smushed-in face. Hmm, could she be a Vietnamese nail salon girl? Sure, of course it's terrible to make these judgements of [mostly] normal people who could definitely make their soulmate happy [or absolute value of happy]. But you have an expectation that is set by your imagination of what the reality of that person's pictures tell you. In essence, you imagine your blind date to be what you want her to be. It's crazy.
Since online dating can become a hobby of sorts, so too a language is developed to keep up with the addiction. 'The Service' is what the online network is referred to. Thus, a 'Service Girl' is a girl you are talking to/dating from The Service. Just some beginner lingo to become familiar with...
Something that is definitely overlooked as a genre of literature, or even while immersed in the dating world, is the reading of online dating profiles purely for the comedic pleasure that you can draw from them. So many girls write the same cliched phrases. What gets me is the anti-polarization factor. These same 'prospects' seem to have a fear of isolating possible mates and will therefore not take a grounded position on anything that they say. "I definitely enjoy doing x, but often just appreciate doing opposite of x."
So this is my take on writing a profile from a girl's perspective, as their online template seems to go...
Please note: This summary is pretty accurate, though will not contain the frequent grammatical or spelling mistakes often found in the aforedescribed profiles.
About Me
"Well let's see...my friends say I'm a great catch! I love going out for a fun night on the town, but also enjoy a cozy night on the couch and making it a Blockbuster night. I like the Bulls, Bears and the Cubs! Overall, I'm a huge Cubs fan! Family is extremely important to me! So it's important for me to find a guy who is close to his family as well.
I am (this will be like a choose your adventure novella - be sure to choose your stereotype wisely!) ...
A) a teacher and absolutely love what I do. I love being around kids and seeing the difference I make in their lives every day.
B) in school for a master's in social work and love Chicago in the summer.
C) in sales and love having a night out on the town. Just a warning to all you boys - I live by the motto work hard, play hard so if you want to contact me be sure you can keep up!
My Perfect First Date
Anything is fine with me. It's more the company than the place. You know it's a great time if sparks are flying and there are butterflies in your stomach. The night ends with the anticipation of a first kiss and you both look forward to a second date.
My Ideal Relationship
A) There is no ideal relationship. You just have to balance things and appreciate your time together. I don't play games, so if that's what you're looking for keep looking.
B) Where my boyfriend is my best friend. We have our own friends. He has game night with his boys and I have a night out with my girls. But in the end we can't wait to see each other and share our stories. One in which we trust each other and have good communication.
I am looking for a
Nice Jewish boy! I want someone who will compliment me in every way - someone who I can be proud to take home to my family. I want someone who knows where he is going with his career and who can teach me new things. He should be confident, but not cocky and know how to treat a lady. Extra points if you can make me laugh!
So you can definitely get a flavor for the flavorless girls who paint their aimless, bland portraits on the land of the internet in hopes of getting a free drink, meal or home. Jaded? Not at all. Take the cliche 'there are many fish in the sea.' Very true - it's just hard to swim through seaweed is my point. And these words above are accurate - it's what they write. So you have to find the few who don't use the online anti-polarization template and actually create something to tell you what they are like through words.
These are the Revolutionaries...
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